A pretty safe bank?
A would-be robber had been casing a Boston bank for several days,
waiting for just the right moment to commit robbery. He went through the
customer line, and as he approached the teller's window, he produced a
handgun and announced loudly "THIS IS A HOLDUP, NOBODY MOVE!" Much to
his dismay, the next five customers were armed FBI agents on their lunch
breaks, attempting to cash their checks. He quickly surrendered with no
shots fired. His casing job had failed to notice the FBI Field Office
two doors down.
Repeat Offenders.
Two young larcenists in Florida, 14 and 15 to be exact, appeared before
Judge Larry Seidlin after stealing their twenty-fifth car in just two
short years. After the boys were released, they walked out of the
courthouse and realized they did not have bus fare for a ride home.
Promptly, the duo stole number twenty-six; they crashed the vehicle into
a fence less than an hour later.
Can't wait another minute.
Eleven days before the statute of limitations was to expire on the
Brink's robbery in Boston, Massachusetts, that netted nearly $3 million
in January 1950, one of the robbers confessed and betrayed his fellow
robbers.
Self Defence?
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store
when he decided to fire his attorney. Oklahoma City District Attorney
said Newton was doing a decent job until the store manager testified
that Newton was indeed the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman
of lying and then said, " I should have blown your f***ing head off" The
defendant paused then added, "If I had been the one that was there." The
jury deliberated for twenty minutes before returning a verdict of guilty
and recommended a sentence of thirty years.
Not such a good plan after all.
John Schieman, 37, thought the best time to steal a car would be when
its owner was getting out. As his would-be-victim, Robin Van Bortle, 32,
was attaching a lock to her steering wheel when Schieman made his move.
Startled, the astute woman reacting by beating Schieman over the head
with the antitheft device. The budding criminal was charged with
robbery, assault, and grand larceny.
How dumb???
A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the
bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind
the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did
not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk
refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was
indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the
police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store.
The suspect was arrested two hours later.
Oops!
Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been
searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer did not need
a warrant because a bulge in Johns's jacket could have been a gun.
"Nonsense," said Christopher who happened to be wearing the same jacket
that day. When he handed the judge the jacket, a bag of cocaine fell
out. The judge required a five minute recess so that he could gain his
composure.
A close shave.
In Louisiana a would be criminal entered the bank and held it up for
several thousand dollars. In an attempt to quickly escape, the man ran
into a glass door. Though he made it out, he left half of his mask
behind on the door. Not having the money to buy a traditional mask, the
man had covered his face with a bottle of shaving cream. The suspect was
arrested a few minutes later, half of his face still covered in shaving
cream.
Wrong number.
A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies and
other events. One day, a middle-aged woman called to inquire if they
could kill her husband. She was sentenced to four and a half years.
Confession?
Two Marble Valley, Vermont prison escapees were caught in New York City
in 1996. Police found their to-do list, which read, "Drive to Maine, get
safer place to stay, buy guns, get Marie, get car — Dartmouth, do
robbery, go to New York..." |